Up early in the Summer

I'm up early this morning, I assume this is a side effect of the Whole30 program. They did not say 'you wake earlier in the morning' they stated 'you will fall asleep faster, sleep deeper and easier during the night, and awake in the morning refreshed and ready to go'. (I'm paraphrasing.)

Actually, something else happening as a result of the program is mental clarity. I has it. And right now it's not a blessing. I kinda liked living in my fog I think. I'm worrying about one of my jobs. But that's none of this blogs business.

What I wanted to get down was... shit now I forgot what I wanted to write... OHHHHHH

What I wanted to write is about deleting facebook. Damon laughed yesterday as I received several text messages asking if I had left FB. I did. June 7th. I'm a really good Mom. I love my kids with a healthy mix of emotional connection and a natural desire to simply keep them alive. But Piper is coming to this weird age here at 9. She's always been smart and a little too independent, but always very maternal and kind to others and loving and affectionate with me and her father. Admittedly, me more. It's always been that way. But the child has NEVER been easy. NOW, we are dealing with our kind, loving and 'so affectionate you think she's a kitten' baby in one moment and in the next moment we are dealing with a sassy, smart mouth, venom spewing preteen. It's confusing. But I'm digressing a little... again.

I work from home, just about full time really. It's not as easy and glamorous as people might thing. It's a huge balance of time and a lot of discipline. It's hard. But sometimes when I have a lull at my computer I would click FB to see what's going on with everyone... and before I knew it I had 30 minutes of my day zapped away. It wasn't ALWAYS like that... sometimes it would be an HOUR!

I'd be bored nursing Rosie, so I'd reach for my phone and scroll FB....
I'd be waiting somewhere for something.... reach for my phone scroll FB....
Lull in the conversation??? Reach for FB.... You get my picture.

I told myself it wasn't a big deal but when I took a focused, objective look at my day, I realized something. I was putting my children off. I would peek over to watch them play to make sure they were preoccupied instead of joining in. They would approach and request me to brush a doll's hair or read to them... or FIX THEIR LUNCH... and I'd say "just a minute, I'm almost caught up". So I had to stop. Piper is watching me. She mimics everything I do. I do not want this to be one of those things.










Plus, Facebook's 'listening' feature is creepy to the max!